It’s about having a routine, and not getting in the habit of excuses. Once you start skipping writing, it’s very easy to quit. And I don’t want to quit. It’s true, I have been very unmotivated the past year. There are personal circumstances which get me often depressed, however writing usually served me as an outlet for this.

In the past year, writing hasn’t been able to fulfil this function. I started writing on Medium a few years ago, and what kept me going is some of the success I was starting to see. People were finally reading my stuff. And I was even making a bit of money for that.

This year, this totally collapsed. Very few people read my articles now. And I literally earn only a few cents a month. It’s gotten that bad. Writing has never been about the money. I was always driven by the intrinsic motivation of learning and being creative. This has driven me to write all those years, when I wasn’t earning anything.

However, deep down, we all know extrinsic motivation also plays a role. It can’t be the main factor, but it also has its place. When it’s not there, it can kill any type of project. And especially as you get older, and things don’t seem to be going your way, intrinsic motivation starts losing its power. This is what I have discovered.

Anyways, this is just a short reflection I have had this month. This little piece also allows me to keep my monthly writing routine. And hopefully, if any rare soul does come across this, it can also help them put a little perspective on how the world works, and what drives people in their life.

At its core, EQ involves five key components: self-awareness, self-regulation, motivation, empathy, and social skills. A self-aware person recognizes their emotional triggers. A self-regulated one doesn’t let those triggers control them. Empathy allows us to feel with others, not just for them, while social skills help us translate emotional insight into meaningful interaction.

In today’s fast-paced, interconnected world, emotional intelligence isn’t just a “nice to have”. It’s essential. Teams thrive under emotionally intelligent leadership, and personal relationships deepen when empathy and understanding lead the way. In essence, EQ is the essential glue that drives interpersonal relationships and one of the main make-or-break factors for success.

“The important thing is not to stop questioning. Curiosity has its own reason for existence. One cannot help but be in awe when he contemplates the mysteries of eternity, of life, of the marvelous structure of reality. It is enough if one tries merely to comprehend a little of this mystery each day.”

Published after his death, this quote epitomized the principles he lived his life by. It’s what made him a genius.

For him, the most important thing was never to stop questioning. Curiosity is a powerful driver in this world. Cultivating it was for Einstein the most powerful piece of advice he could pass onto the next generations.

Yet, in today’s world it seems as if many people have lost this sense of wonder, this need to know and understand. It’s as if curiosity is not something valued by today’s youth, or even the older generations.

The genuine will to try to understand how the world works has instead found a substitute. The need to gawk at people’s Instagram pictures, or watch reality shows on TV.

Stupid curiosity has replaced smart curiosity as the driver of people’s actions. And that’s a shame. In the process, people are losing an important element that gives meaning to life.

The result? Depression, feelings of meaninglessness, and stupidity.

The power of observational curiosity

Yet curiosity is in itself a superpower. The mundane can be a great source of inspiration.

Imagine a world where you notice the subtle details that often elude people’s attention, the way light filters through a window, the expressions on strangers’ faces, the patterns of behavior in a bustling city.

Observational curiosity encourages you to slow down, look beyond the surface, and uncover hidden narratives. From Sherlock Holmes to the keen-eyed scientist, those who harness this form of curiosity possess a distinct advantage, uncovering insights that escape the notice of the casual observer.

In today’s age, being curious is a tremendous advantage. It can give you a sense of meaning, in a world that often seems to lack it.

Just like for Einstein, following my curiosity has also been the secret to a better life. Keeping my mind busy, and trying to learn about how things work has helped me deal with the absurdity of the world.

Loneliness, depression, melancholy. Been there. Often, still there. What helps me beat it? Curiosity.

Why is a fundamental question

The most profound questions often begin with a simple “why.” From childhood wonder to scientific inquiry, the courage to ask why unlocks new avenues of understanding.

Curiosity thrives on the refusal to accept the status quo, and on the relentless pursuit of deeper truths. Through the stories of great innovators and revolutionaries, you can see how the persistent quest for answers has led to groundbreaking discoveries, paradigm shifts, and societal transformations.

True curiosity necessitates a degree of vulnerability, a willingness to abandon preconceived notions and venture into uncharted territory. It is in the realm of uncertainty that we challenge the boundaries of what is known. This is where true growth and innovation thrive.

By embracing the unknown, you open yourself to the possibility of failure, but also to the potential for greatness. The rewards of curiosity usually far outweigh the risks.

Curiosity is a timeless human characteristic. It is not bound by the constraints of time or place. It has propelled us from the caves of our ancestors to the outer reaches of space. It’s the fundamental building block of human progress.

In our quest for knowledge, we must remember that curiosity is not a destination. It is an endless journey, an ever-evolving force that propels us forward. As we nurture our curiosity, we embrace the boundless possibilities that lie before us, and unleash the hidden power that resides within each of us.

So, let your curiosity go. Read. Wonder. Explore. For in curiosity lies the seeds of a better future. And a better state of mind.

An earlier version of this article was originally published on “Medium” here.

1) Set Clear Goals and Priorities:
The first step in effective time management is to set clear goals and priorities. Take some time to define your short-term and long-term objectives, both in your personal and professional life. Once you have a clear vision of what you want to achieve, prioritize your tasks based on their importance and urgency. This will help you focus your time and energy on the most essential activities.

2) Plan and Organize:
A well-structured plan is the backbone of efficient time management. Start each day or week by creating a to-do list, outlining the tasks you need to accomplish. Break down bigger tasks into smaller, more manageable sub-tasks, making them less overwhelming. Use calendars, planners, or digital tools to schedule your activities and allocate specific time slots for each task. This will provide structure to your day and prevent time wastage.

3) Eliminate Time Wasters:
Identify and eliminate activities that consume your time without adding value. This includes excessive social media use, aimless web browsing, or spending excessive time on unproductive tasks. Be mindful of the time you spend on these activities and consider setting specific time limits or implementing self-imposed restrictions to avoid falling into the trap of time-wasting habits.

4) Learn to Delegate:
Recognize that you can’t do everything on your own. Delegating tasks to others not only frees up your time but also allows you to focus on high-priority responsibilities. Evaluate your workload and identify tasks that can be effectively delegated to capable individuals. Delegation not only reduces your burden but also helps develop the skills and abilities of others, fostering a more efficient and collaborative work environment.

5) Prioritize Self-Care:
Maintaining a healthy work-life balance is essential for long-term success and well-being. It is crucial to prioritize self-care activities such as exercise, proper sleep, and relaxation. Taking care of your physical and mental health ensures that you have the energy and focus needed to manage your time effectively. Remember that downtime and self-care activities are investments in your overall productivity and happiness.

6) Practice the 80/20 Rule:
The Pareto Principle, also known as the 80/20 rule, states that 80% of your results come from 20% of your efforts. Identify the tasks or activities that yield the most significant results and focus your time and energy on them. By prioritizing and dedicating more resources to high-impact tasks, you can optimize your productivity and achieve more with less effort.

7) Embrace Time Blocking:
Time blocking is a technique that involves setting aside specific blocks of time for different tasks or activities. It helps create a sense of structure and discipline in your schedule, ensuring that you allocate sufficient time for each task. Dedicate uninterrupted periods for focused work, allowing you to enter a state of flow and accomplish tasks more efficiently.

Conclusion:
Mastering time management is a lifelong skill that can significantly enhance your productivity and overall quality of life. By setting clear goals, planning effectively, eliminating time-wasting activities, delegating tasks, prioritizing self-care, and embracing strategies like the 80/20 rule and time blocking, you can take control of your time and make the most of every day. Remember, time is a finite resource, and how you manage it ultimately determines your success and fulfillment in both personal and professional endeavors.

What Plato didn’t mention is that this chained existence in a dark cave is one of their own making. It’s pretty easy to unchain yourself, but most people don’t want to.

They have one view of the world, and stubbornly keep to it. The brain is great at discarding facts that don’t fit into this narrow window. Ignorance is bliss. And ego is ever powerful.

Plato’s teacher, Socrates, saw right through this. Rather, his prescription to a good life was to acknowledge your own ignorance.

“I know nothing except the fact of my ignorance.” — Socrates

Charles Darwin, the unassuming hero

When you think of the scientific geniuses of history, which names come to mind? Galileo Galilei? Isaac Newton? Albert Einstein? I am pretty sure if you were forced to make a list, one name would surely appear on it. Charles Darwin.

Yet, what most historians agree on is how average Charles Darwin really was. He wasn’t particularly good at school. Nor did he stand out among his peers. Even Darwin himself acknowledged this in his writings.

“I have no great quickness of apprehension or wit which is so remarkable in some clever men.” — Charles Darwin

Charles Darwin, while smart, was no genius. His strengths lay elsewhere.

A hint of this can be found in Janet Browne’s description of him in her biography of the man:

“Darwin was the most unspectacular person of all time, a man known to his contemporaries as a quiet, methodical worker, devoted to his family, hard to prise out of his house in the country, averse to ostentation, utterly conventional in his behavior, modest and unassuming about his results.” — Janet Browne

Methodical worker. Modest. Unassuming. These words show us where Darwin’s strengths lay. It was not his powerful brain. Rather, it was the traits of his character that were behind his success.

Why your brain is preventing you from changing your mind

Science advances one funeral at a time. This short paraphrase of German scientist Max Planck’s observation on the nature of scientific progress hints at a larger human condition.

“A new scientific truth does not triumph by convincing its opponents and making them see the light, but rather because its opponents eventually die, and a new generation grows up that is familiar with it.“ — Max Planck

People are stubborn. Scientists are people. Hence logic dictates they are often stubborn.

It’s the human brain’s wiring that is at fault here. It’s ego-driven and falls for cognitive biases. The most prominent of these is confirmation bias.

You have a particular view of the world. And you search to confirm those views. That means acknowledging the facts that are in line with your beliefs. And discarding everything else.

So if you come across something that challenges these cherished beliefs, you tend to discard it. Sometimes even rage against it. This can result in the so-called backfire effect, where not only do you not change your opinion when a fact negates it, you actually start believing in your BS even more.

Imagine that! A fact comes in that disproves your assumptions. And despite this proof being solid, you go on pretending it doesn’t exist. Your mind does a magic trick. It erases these inconvenient facts from existence.

This type of mental mechanism not only prevents you from changing your mind, it also hampers you in finding a better solution to problems.

Humans are often one trick ponies. You find one decent way of solving problems, and stick to it. You repeat it, and repeat it. This prevents you from seeing other ways of solving the same problem. Often, better ways of solving that problem.

In psychology, this is called the Einstellung effect. If all you have ever been using are hammers and nails, then you will treat everything as if it were a hammer and nail problem.

That’s just how the brain works. It’s hard to change your mind. For scientists, just like for normal people.

Charles Darwin was one of those rare characters who was able to tame these negative propensities of the brain. He had a nice little trick to battle confirmation bias.

Darwin’s Golden Rule

Charles Darwin revolutionized our thinking about the world. By uncovering some of the deep inner workings of the natural world, he opened up new avenues of research. And not just that.

The theory of evolution has been one of the most groundbreaking scientific achievements. It changed science. But also society. He turned the way humans view themselves upside down.

It went totally against the grain of the ideas prevalent among people for hundreds, if not thousands of years. Charles Darwin was able to go against the grain, exactly because of his mental humbleness. His open-mindedness.

It was his Golden Rule that was behind his success. It was a simple rule. Whenever he came across something that opposed his preconceived notions, he wouldn’t discard it.

Rather, he took care to note it down.

“I had also, during many years, followed a golden rule, namely that whenever published fact, a new observation of thought came across me, which was opposed to my general results, to make a memorandum of it without fail and at once; for I had found by experience that such facts and thoughts were far more apt to escape from the memory than favorable ones.” — Charles Darwin

He didn’t run away from contradictory evidence. He welcomed it. He knew these facts contradicting your worldview escape memory much faster than those that support it. That’s why he noted them down.

In this way, he was the total opposite of many of the scientists of his day. Even the professors that taught him in his university days.

In her first volume of Darwin’s biography, historian of science Janet Browne noted how Scottish naturalist and University of Edinburgh professor Robert Jameson went out of his way to hide evidence that contradicted his own theories:

“Jameson had his foibles, including, most notoriously, his efforts to prevent students seeing any geological specimens that might contradict his own well-developed views.” — Janet Browne

While this type of behavior is natural, it doesn’t really bode well for science. In fact, it is often strange out of place results that push science the farthest.

A quote often attributed to the great science fiction writer Isaac Asimov points to the essence of how discovery in science works. Every great scientific breakthrough starts off when someone notices things that are strange or shouldn’t be there.

“The Most Exciting Phrase in Science Is Not ‘Eureka!’ But ‘That’s odd …’”

Darwin took this mindset to heart.

How to apply Darwin’s Golden Rule

Intellectual humility is at the basis of discovery. It can also help ensure that your theories stand the test of time. As writer Adam Gopnik stated in his book Angels and Ages, this was the strength of Darwin’s thought.

He was the first person to outline the chief objections to his own theory.

“All of what remain today as the chief objections to his theory are introduced by Darwin himself, fairly and accurately, and in a spirit of almost panicked anxiety — and then rejected not by bullying insistence but by specific example, drawn from the reservoir of his minute experience of life.” — Adam Gopnik

So how do you apply this type of mindset in your own daily life? It all starts with adopting a certain way of thinking. Acknowledge your limitations. Accept that you will be wrong on occasions. To err is human.

When you come across facts that contradict your own views, don’t discard them right away. Examine them. Note them down.

Keep a notebook for this sort of activity. Charles Darwin kept lots of notebooks. They are quite useful. Browsing them later on can remind you of things you might have forgotten.

This is a great habit to have.

Darwin’s ideas changed the scientific world. Perhaps his Golden Rule can change your thinking. Unchain yourself from the cave.

An earlier version of this article was originally published on “Medium” here.
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In his work Twilight of the Idols, Nietzsche had a short reflection on how the world works.

“Did you ever say yes to a pleasure?

Oh my friends, then you also said yes to all pain.

All things are linked, entwined, in love with one another.

“What does not kill me, makes me stronger.””

Nietzsche saw the world as an interplay of opposites. Just like in classical Chinese philosophy you have the yin and the yang, in his view pleasure and pain were entwined with each other. You can’t have one without the other.

In fact, Nietzsche could even be termed as an early prophet of anti-fragility. Whatever happens, if it doesn’t kill you, then it makes you stronger. So taking this proposition to its logical conclusion, pain is what allows you to grow.

Suffer a bit more, and for the rest of your life you will be the guy who climbed Everest

In the movie Everest, there is one scene that brilliantly captures what life is all about. Two characters, Doug and Beck, are sitting in a tent high on the mountain discussing why they are putting themselves through so much punishment.

Beck: When I’m at home I just got this big, black cloud following me. You know, like a depression? And when I’m out here on a mountain, any mountain…

Doug: Yeah?

Beck: It’s just like it’s a cure. I feel like I’m reborn.

Doug: So, you’re happy now?

Beck: No, I’m starting to wonder. This is suffering, man. Yeah. This is suffering.

Doug: Yeah. Suffer a few more days, for the rest of your life you’ll be a guy that got to the top of Everest.

Suffer a bit, but that struggle has a sweet spot. For as long as you live, you will be the person who accomplished something extraordinary. Doug’s statement in that film reminded me of a quote from Muhammad Ali.

“I hated every minute of training, but I said, ‘Don’t quit. Suffer now and live the rest of your life as a champion.‘” — Muhammad Ali

Ali hated training, but he realized that this hard part was a necessary step for becoming a champion. The feeling you get once you accomplish your journey is worth all the hard steps, all the falls, and all the bruises you get while getting there.

That stays with you forever. It’s eternal.

Climbing up a mountain and then coming back down

I know pain from many angles. The pain of sorrow. The pain of sickness and injury. All that is suffering I wouldn’t wish anyone to experience.

Yet, I also know other types of pain. The pain of pushing yourself hard through a workout. The pain of a long run in rainy weather. I also know the type of pain Doug and Beck discussed. I have climbed Mt. Kilimanjaro, Mt. Blanc, as well as other mountains, and came back down to tell the tale.

This second type of pain is the key to experiencing life’s greatest moments. It gives you an awesome feeling right after you accomplish something challenging. In certain cases, like climbing a mountain, that feeling stays with you for a lifetime.

In his book The Sweet Spot: The Pleasures of Suffering and the Search for Meaning, psychology professor Paul Bloom divides suffering into two types: unchosen suffering and chosen suffering.

Unchosen suffering is largely negative, although it can give rise to meaning. Viktor Frankl went through hell while living in a concentration camp during the Holocaust. He found meaning in this unchosen pain, and it made him as a person.

Professor Bloom, however states that much of unchosen suffering is bad:

“A lot of suffering is, unsurprisingly, bad for you. You should avoid it. You should avoid being assaulted. There’s no bright side to the death of a loved one. There’s no happiness in watching your house burn down. Nor is there happiness to be found in getting a horrible disease. Unchosen suffering is awful.” — Paul Bloom

Whereas unchosen suffering is often negative, chosen suffering is a whole other animal. Chosen suffering is what Doug and Beck were raving about in Everest. Chosen suffering is what Muhammad Ali highlighted as the key to the life of a champion. Chosen suffering is what is behind the awesome feelings I get after finishing a workout, a run, or after having climbed a mountain.

The benefits of chosen suffering is the moral of many old tales. In the ancient legend of the choice of Hercules, the hero is given two options by a pair of beautiful goddesses. Live a life of empty pleasure. Or live a life of struggle, but find meaning in that struggle.

Hercules, being the wise man he was, chose the second option. It was his chosen suffering that made him a legend.

Why people in the modern world are depressed

Recently, I had a strange conversation which in a way embodies what is wrong with the modern world. It would not be as disturbing if this were an exception, and not the normal state of affairs. Unfortunately, this type of mindset is much too common.

Nick is in his mid-30s, but his baby face has him looking younger than he is. His alcohol, drugs, and I don’t give a fuck attitude make him attractive to girls. Yet, something is off. Way off.

“Man! I want at least an 8.5,” quips Nick as we are sitting, drinking a beer. “I am pimping up my Instagram, and I have only low quality girls contacting me.”

Since I now think in emoji-talk, a mental facepalm flashes inside my brain. Not this again!

“Seriously? You should be happy. You are doing much better than the vast majority of other guys. Accept reality and stop wasting your time playing around with filters,” I tell him.

As Nick hears this, his eyes widen, “Instagram is where it’s at now.”

I shake my head. Trying to change the subject, I pull out the secret weapon, “Do something productive. Go for a hike. Take a class. When is the last time you went to the gym?”

Damn! His eyes stop blinking. His mouth drops. It’s as if he were a deer caught in the headlights. The question apparently hits the mark.

“Two weeks ago. I think,” he answers slowly.

We had talked about this before. Many times. Nick has the belly of a pregnant lady a week away from giving birth, but keeps insisting he is about to get serious with the gym habit. Always next week, of course.

As the conversation continues, it is excuse after excuse flying around. Then he takes out his cigarettes. Again.

“Not this shit again!” My mental face-palm turns into a real one.

Drawing a long puff and exhaling, Nick’s face expands, “It helps me relax! I am under a lot of stress right now. I feel like shit. My blonde goddess hasn’t come in yet.”

I shake my head in disbelief.

The blonde model chasing lawyer continues, “I will quit. Just not right now. In six months.”

“Seriously! Our friend John is in a relationship and he hasn’t gotten laid in a month! I haven’t had a date in since forever. But you… You just went out with a cute chick last weekend,” I grow flustered. “You are like a millionaire complaining to a homeless guy about not being a billionaire!”

The lights aren’t getting turned on in Nick’s head, “but she wasn’t even an 8.”

It’s useless. The conversation keeps going in circles. I decide to pull the plug.

“You need to get a hobby,” growing a bit restless, I go for the kill. “How many pullups can you do?”

For me, if a man is a serious gym-goer, and disciplined, he should be able to do at least a few. I measure a guy’s worth in pullups.

“Never tried. Probably none,” answers Nick. With that, I rest my case. As he posts another upbeat Instagram story of his dancing antics, and shows off more of his happy life, I turn to other things.

I figured out the problem.

Nick isn’t alone in leading an aimless life, constantly feeling depressed. It’s the standard now. Many people try to drown this out by getting hooked on social media, drinking too much, even turning to molly, shrooms, Mary Jane, or other creatively nicknamed substances.

It’s quite disturbing how normalized drug-taking has become. It’s considered routine, even cool.

Drugs are used by people as a solution to problems that are often only in their heads. They think they are in pain. In reality, a little bit of perspective could go a long way toward showing them how BS their worldview is.

Paradoxically, this constant depression is the result of having too much. As psychiatrist Anna Lembke, author of the book Dopamine Nation says, the reason is simple.

“We’re now having to cope with: How do I live in a world in which everything is provided?” — Anna Lembke

Whereas in ancient times, Hercules chose the path of struggle, today it’s different. Most people prefer to choose the first path. And you can see where that leads to.

That is the problem with the modern generation. They don’t suffer enough.

Discipline is the key to success

The ancient Stoic view on life can be summarized by an epic quote from Epictetus.

“But neither a bull nor a noble-spirited man comes to be what he is all at once; he must undertake hard winter training, and prepare himself.’” — Epictetus

Hard winter training. That phrase reminds me of wading in the snow at 3 in the morning, while trying to ascend Mt. Blanc. That for me was one of the toughest tests of character I had experienced up to that point. Pure suffering.

When I was younger, I avoided pain like the plague. When the going got tough, when discomfort started creeping in, I would quit. One reason for that. My mind was weak.

I had done no winter training. I would rather avoid pain than win. Yet, to win, pain is necessary. And the best way to withstand it, is to practice.

Putting myself through voluntary discomfort by practicing martial arts, going to the gym, and climbing mountains has been life changing. It strengthened my body, but most of all, it strengthened my mind.

Reaching out into the past, Stoic philosopher Seneca’s words can teach us valuable lessons.

“It is precisely in times of immunity from care that the soul should toughen itself beforehand for occasions of greater stress, and it is while Fortune is kind that it should fortify itself against her violence.” — Seneca

This type of toughening up is at the core of changing your mindset. Discipline is suffering. Discipline is pain. Most people can’t handle that. Winter training, as the Stoics used to call it, is what will allow you to get used to that pain.

It will help you build up the willpower needed to become disciplined. Then sky is the limit. Former Navy SEAL Jocko Willink perhaps summarized best what discipline will allow you to do.

“Discipline equals freedom.” — Jocko Willink

Certain types of pain can be surprisingly healthy for you

The ancient Epicureans were about living a life of pleasure. Much of that, however was based on avoiding pain. Called “aponia” in Greek, the absence of pain was the secret to the heights of bodily pleasures.

Yet even these disciples of pleasure admitted that at least a little pain is often necessary to live a good life. That’s because this pain can lead to greater pleasures down the road.

“And oftentimes we consider pains superior to pleasures when submission to the pains for a long time brings us as a consequence a greater pleasure.” — Epicurus

And what is the greatest of pleasures if not good health?

Not only can pain lead to feelings of glory, it can actually also improve your health. I say so. Scientists say so. Wim Hof says so. Yup. This elderly Dutchman raves about the benefits of cold exposure.

You heard right. Cold exposure. “The Iceman”, as he is known, goes around bare-chested all day, his only piece of clothing being short shorts. He is a big proponent of cold showers as the basis of a healthy lifestyle. Apparently, that’s his secret to a good life.

Cold showers are freaking painful! Anyone who has ever tried taking one can attest to the fact they are pure suffering. I have managed to go only a few weeks before giving them up.

Hof’s statements have been backed up by several studies, including one which found that participants who underwent a month of cold showers were 29% less sick than those who didn’t. Another study concluded that cold exposure gives athletes a small boost to their immune system.

Taking a cold shower might feel like shit, but that slight immunity edge could keep you from getting sick. Combine it with a regular exercise routine, and a little bit of suffering will result in a whole bunch of good stuff.

Running a few kilometers in the morning can be painful, but it improves your cardiovascular health. Not being out of breath all the time, and having a strong heart, will have great benefits for you down the road. Besides, as author of Born to Run Christopher McDougall discovered, physical activity like running can keep you from getting old.

“You don’t stop running because you get old, you get old because you stop running.” — Christopher McDougall

The ancient Epicureans were right. A little submission to pain can give rise to greater pleasures. For your mind. And for your body.

What you should do

Writer Christopher McDougall sees the fact that modern people stopped engaging in chosen pain as the source of many of the problems we have.

“Perhaps all our troubles — all the violence, obesity, illness, depression, and greed we can’t overcome — began when we stopped living as Running People. Deny your nature, and it will erupt in some other, uglier way.”
― Christopher McDougall

Chosen suffering teaches you lessons. It makes you stronger. Physically and mentally.

“Suffering is humbling. It pays to know how to get your butt kicked.”
― Christopher McDougall

If you are reading this, get off your ass and go do something. Something that scares you. Something that makes you sweat, and your body ache. Something hard.

In this world, there is fake pain, and there is real pain. Fake pain is the suffering my friend Nick experiences. It’s made up. It’s due to him applying filter upon filter to his life, and not living according to nature as the Stoics used to say. It’s him not choosing the path of Hercules.

As French philosopher Maurice Merleau-Ponty taught us, your body is your entry point into the world. When you live in the virtual world, you will suffer for sure, but it is an empty type of suffering.

Rather, it’s real pain that can lead you somewhere in this life. Just like struggle led Hercules to become a legend. While unchosen pain can give you meaning, like it did for Viktor Frankl, it’s the chosen type of pain that is the most rewarding.

And all this takes us back to Friedrich Nietzsche. A conversation with him sheds a light on what it means to live. Starting off, he can seem quite harsh.

“To those human beings who are of any concern to me I wish suffering, desolation, sickness, ill-treatment, indignities.” — Friedrich Nietzsche

Nietzsche wishes us to suffer pain? What a bastard!

But wait! He actually has a point.

“I wish them the only thing that can prove today whether one is worth anything or not — that one endures.” — Friedrich Nietzsche

Nietzsche proposes a path of self-overcoming, one that culminates in personal growth, in self-mastery. This is the key to the good life. It can never be achieved without pain. The right kind of pain.

An earlier version of this article was originally published on “Medium” here.
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“I can’t get no satisfaction!”

Keith Richards apparently came up with the idea for the song in his sleep. Mick Jagger then wrote the lyrics by a hotel pool in Clearwater, Florida.

“When I’m drivin’ in my car, and the man come on the radio
He’s tellin’ me more and more about some useless information
Supposed to fire my imagination

I can’t get no, oh, no, no, no, hey, hey, hey
That’s what I say
I can’t get no satisfaction, I can’t get no satisfaction.”

The words describe a man who goes through life, never feeling satisfied. One reason why the song became so popular, apart from the catchy tune of course, was the fact that it evoked a familiar feeling among many of its fans.

I usually can’t get no satisfaction either. Despite trying. And trying.

What does Mick Jagger and a catchy song from the 1960’s have to do with Buddhism you might ask? On first look, not much, but if you really dig deep down, it has everything to do with it.

For it can help you understand one of Buddhism’s most important concepts: dukkha.

Suffering, not getting satisfaction, unease

Dukkha comes from the ancient Indian language of Sanskrit, and is often translated as “suffering”. While suffering is the most common word used in English for the concept of dukkha, it doesn’t capture the whole meaning.

Rather, dukkha is a sort of existential angst that comes from living life. Suffering, lack of satisfaction, unease, are all words that can be used to get a grasp of what dukkha means.

See where Mick Jagger comes in? Despite being a famous rock star, and having the world at his feet, he still can’t get no satisfaction. That’s how life basically is. Despite having what you need, you always crave for more.

The Dhammacakkappavattana Sutta is a Buddhist text which allegedly records Siddharta Gautama’s first sermon. In it, the Buddha defines what dukkha is:

“Birth is dukkha, aging is dukkha, death is dukkha; sorrow, lamentation, pain, grief, and despair are dukkha; association with the unbeloved is dukkha; separation from the loved is dukkha; not getting what is wanted is dukkha. In short, the five clinging-aggregates are dukkha.” — Buddha

While mental suffering that comes from objective factors such as death or physical pain are dukkha, much of the anguish that comes with dukkha is actually self-inflicted. It comes from various cravings you have.

You want to be rich and famous, but are stuck working the late shift at McDonald’s? That’s dukkha.

You are working hard 24/7 trying to deliver on deadlines, but you still get passed over on the promotion? Again dukkha.

You are trying to be a good person, but some bad person makes a false accusation against you and trips you up? Dukkha.

All of these examples point at different types of sufferings, dissatisfactions, or unease. Yet, they are all examples of dukkha. You have certain hopes and expectations about life, but they turn out to be untrue. You have certain cravings, but they don’t get fulfilled. That’s all part of living in the world.

This is what Buddha realized when he was sitting under that bodhi tree two and a half thousand years ago. Life is not very pleasant. Life is suffering, both mental and physical.

You grow old. People die. You want something, but don’t get it. You suffer injustice. Instead of money, life gives you lemons. And despite trying hard to make lemonade, you just end up with some awfully tasting liquid.

Yup, shit sucks…

Life is fleeting, and your mind leads you astray

The most frustrating thing about life is that it passes. Sometimes, you might actually even experience a happy moment. That’s the problem though. It’s just a moment. It passes. Then back to bad old suffering.

This process describes one of the three marks of existence. Impermanence, or in Buddhist language anicca. The other mark has to do with your own changing self. While the word anatta, or no-self, is interpreted differently in various Buddhist traditions, the crux has to do with the fact you don’t have a permanent self. It’s always changing. Life is change.

One time you are up. The other down. This causes suffering. This causes dukkha. However, let’s take a deep dive into what is actually at the root of this. It’s your tendency to cling. To want what you can’t have. To worry about stuff you can’t control.

With this realization, you can also start applying what the Buddhists see as the solution to all these problems. As one of my favorite Buddhist texts the Dhammapada says, it’s all in the mind.

“All that we are is the result of what we have thought: it is founded on our thoughts, it is made up of our thoughts.”— Verse 1 of Buddha’s Dhammapada

The stuff you want, or must have, are an illusion. You don’t actually need them. It’s just your mind leading you astray.

Realizing this, and always keeping it in mind when shit hits the fan, you are on your way to navigating the bad stuff life throws at you. You might never reach Enlightenment, but that’s OK.

Keeping perspective can help you lead a life that is much less unsatisfactory than what other people experience. Even billionaires, or rock stars. Sounds unbelievable, but it’s true.

Just look at how many rock stars die of drug overdoses. They have the money. They have the fame. They are doing what they always dreamed of doing. Yet, they are still unhappy. They still can’t get no satisfaction. So they drown themselves in alcohol and drugs.

Life is about having a good axle

According to some linguists, the word dukkha comes from the old Sanskrit word for axle hole. More than three millennia ago, Aryan tribes from the plains in the north invaded India and took over much of the country.

That’s why Sanskrit and many of the northern Indian languages like modern Hindi are much more closely related to languages like English, German, or Russian, then they are to the Dravidian languages of southern India. Some Indo-European tribes went west, and became Europeans. Others went south, and became Indians.

Initially, these tribes were nomadic, and the center of their world were carts drawn by horses and oxes. These were on wheels, connected through axles. You can imagine having good axles was incredibly important. With good axles, you could travel long distances. On bad axles, you couldn’t.

Bad axle holes became the source of the word dukkha. Good axle holes became the source of another word, sukha. This is having an authentic state of happiness, as opposed to the existential suffering and unease you get with dukkha.

It’s not easy to experience sukha, while dukkha is basically your everyday state. Understanding the origin of these words, gave me a new perspective on what you need in life. All you need is a good axle, and you can travel great distances!

And even if you end up with a bad axle, that still isn’t the end of the world. People get dealt shitty cards in life all the time. It’s how you deal with it that counts. Just get as far as you can.

While not actually being Buddhists, guys like Albert Camus or Viktor Frankl came up with ways to overcome a life of dukkha. One had you smile in defiance of life’s struggles, just like Sisyphus smiles doing his never-ending backbreaking task. The other had you find meaning in your suffering. Both of these are good strategies to adopt.

Steps to overcoming a life of dukkha

The first thing you need to do is accept how life is. It’s not perfect. Stuff you want, you will not always get. Your best laid plans will usually come to nothing. Despite your hard work.

The key is to be realistic about this. It will make things hurt a lot less in the end. As Lama Surya Das says in his book Awakening the Buddha Within, life is difficult.

“What Buddhism does say is that life, by its nature, is difficult, flawed, and imperfect. That’s the nature of life, and that’s the First Noble Truth. From the Buddhist point of view, this is not a judgement of life’s joys and sorrows; this is a simple, down-to-earth, matter-of-fact description.” — Lama Surya Das

So the first step is understanding how life is and accepting it. This is already huge. Getting a perspective on the nature of life, is half the battle. Most people never even get here.

The second step is living with this knowledge. Meditation can help. It can calm your mind, but also aid you to reach higher levels of understanding. Life is a prison, but much of it is self-imposed.

The third step is thus to get rid of attachments. Your views about what you need to do, what you want, and what you must have are what is holding you down. You should shift your perspective. About yourself and the world.

Of course, you can go full in and become a Buddhist, and spend your time in meditation and prayer. And maybe if you are lucky, you will achieve Nirvana that way.

Just keep in mind that different Buddhist traditions have different ideas on this. The Theravada Buddhists, the old-school ones in places like Sri Lanka or Thailand, believe you can escape life and reach this blissful state.

However, the Mahayana Buddhists, which are basically the majority of the different schools in places like Tibet, China, and Japan, believe that no one can reach the state of Nirvana, until everyone does.

For me, learning about dukkha has been incredibly enlightening. While I don’t consider myself a Buddhist, these teachings gave me a great perspective on how the world works. I have combined them with insights from other traditions and philosophers, and they help me navigate the different complexities of life in this world.

Maybe they can do the same for you.

An earlier version of this article was originally published on “Medium” here.
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“The wisest of all, in my opinion, is he who can, if only once a month, call himself a fool.” — Fyodor Dostoyevsky

Wisdom is about the ability to call yourself a fool. Thus spoke Fyodor Dostoyevsky, Russian novelist whose works explored the human condition. His writing style peeked into his characters inner lives, penetrating deep into the darkness of the soul.

Humanity for him was a mystery. One that he spent his entire life studying. Why? Because he wanted to be human.

“To study the meaning of man and of life — I am making significant progress here. I have faith in myself. Man is a mystery: if you spend your entire life trying to puzzle it out, then do not say that you have wasted your time. I occupy myself with this mystery, because I want to be a man.” — Fyodor Dostoyevsky

In a way, Dostoyevsky’s work reflected the principles coming down from Socrates of ancient Greece. Know thyself. The wisest man is the one who knows he knows nothing.

The Russian novelist took it a step further. He asked one fundamental question. Why are people so dark?

This is as pertinent as ever. The recent Russian invasion of Ukraine has reminded us of the evil that lurks in human nature. It is as present now as it was in the 19th century when Dostoyevsky was writing. Sometimes it goes into hiding, only for it to awaken with full fury in the worst of times.

The traditional view of evil gets it backwards. The darkness in humanity is not a reflection of the Devil. Rather, the Devil is a reflection of humanity. In one of his works, Dostoyevsky commented that humans created him in their own image.

“I think the devil doesn’t exist, but man has created him, he has created him in his own image and likeness.” — Fyodor Dostoyevsky

Society is corrupt, and always will be

The defining moment in Dostoyevsky’s life came right at the instant his life was about to be extinguished. As a young man, the writer got mixed up with a group of political radicals. Scooped up by the tsarist police, he was sentenced to die by firing squad.

Lined up, the countdown to his death already started, salvation for Dostoyevsky arrived at the last second. The tsar decided to commute his sentence. Instead of death, he was sent to a prison camp in Siberia. For four years he labored there in harsh conditions.

Yet, he constantly kept the lesson from his near death experience at the back of his mind. It would later inform the plot of one of his novels, The Idiot. This aptly titled work, describes one interesting aspect of the human experience. If you are a genuinely good person, you are usually taken to be an idiot by other people.

Prince Myshkin, the hero of the story, possesses all the positive traits and qualities an ideal man should have. He is kind. He is generous. He thinks of others before himself. This beautiful soul shines all around. And this is not an act. It’s all real and genuine.

Unfortunately, society chews him up and spits him out raw. He has no chance. The first sentence of the novel describing a train approaching St. Petersburg at full speed foreshadows that Myshkin’s life will be a train wreck.

Due to his goodness, everyone else views him as an idiot. It’s the classic example of the nice guys finish last trope. He doesn’t get the girl (who instead goes to an assholish nobody). He gets treated like shit. And his life ends up in ruins.

This character perfectly symbolizes how things work in this world. There’s no justice. No karma. No nothing. Goodness doesn’t get rewarded. Evil doesn’t always get punished. Life goes on. Or it doesn’t.

The End of History is a fata morgana

The biggest lesson of history is that there is no end of history. Human nature always strikes back.

The idealistic view some people have of truth and love prevailing is a fata morgana. Just like thirsty people stuck in the hot desert see images of oases in the distance, some people have visions of a perfect society in their head.

The problem is that when the wanderer approaches the supposed oasis, he finds out it was just a figment of his own imagination. It’s the same with society. When you think you know how to achieve a more just way of doing things, it all disappears in a puff of smoke.

Greed, envy, the lust for power are perennial artifacts of human nature. The average person has delusions of grandeur. Some bigger than others.

Dostoyevsky explores this in probably his most famous novel, Crime and Punishment. The protagonist there, Rodion Raskolnikov, is an ordinary guy down on his luck.

Finding himself living in harsh circumstances, he tries to conceive of ways to get out of poverty. He knows about an elderly woman pawn-broker living in a flat. She is rich, spineless, and Raskolnikov feels a deep revulsion towards her.

The idea of killing her pops into his head. Imagining how much better off the world would be without her, and how all that money she has could be used to save many poor people, he keeps mulling the idea around in his mind.

In a telling passage, Dostoyevsky has Raskolnikov justify his plan to kill:

“Kill her, take her money and with the help of it devote oneself to the service of humanity and the good of all. What do you think, would not one tiny crime be wiped out by thousands of good deeds? For one life thousands would be saved from corruption and decay. One death, and a hundred lives in exchange — it’s simple arithmetic! Besides, what value has the life of that sickly, stupid, ill-natured old woman in the balance of existence! No more than the life of a louse, of a black-beetle, less in fact because the old woman is doing harm.”

It’s a utilitarian argument that is popular even today. Kill the rich. Save the world.

Raskolnikov thinks of himself as an extraordinary person. The man he admires and styles himself after is Napoleon. In a later passage, he quips that all men in Russia think of themselves as the former French emperor.

This has a deeper meaning, pointing at how we as people view ourselves. We all think we are special. Extraordinary. The world revolves around us.

Studies show that 93% of drivers think they are above average. Nobody is average. At least in their mind. Everyone thinks they are Napoleon.

Raskolnikov on the small-scale, guys like Trump or Putin on the large-scale. And this is where history comes in. If people believe they are above the rest, then they think common rules don’t apply to them. Guys like Raskolnikov start breaking the small rules. Trump and Putin the big ones.

In the novel, Dostoyevsky has Raskolnikov publish a paper discussing this idea. In the heads of “great” individuals, the ends justify the means. Bloodshed is often the final result.

“Legislators and leaders of men, such as Lycurgus, Solon, Mahomet, Napoleon, and so on, were all without exception criminals, from the very fact that, making a new law, they transgressed the ancient one, handed down from their ancestors and held sacred by the people, and they did not stop short at bloodshed either, if that bloodshed — often of innocent persons fighting bravely in defense of ancient law — were of use to their cause.’’

In another novel, The Brothers Karamazov, Dostoyevsky goes even further in describing how darkness can envelop a person’s mind. It starts off with lying to yourself, and believing those lies. This poisons your psyche, and dehumanizes other people in your thoughts. A slippery slope is the result.

“A man who lies to himself, and believes his own lies, becomes unable to recognize truth, either in himself or in anyone else, and he ends up losing respect for himself and for others.”

If you want to find something akin to laws of history, that’s where you should look. This tendency of human nature explains why events often appear cyclical. It’s as if history keeps on repeating itself. It never ends, just recycles.

Self-help Dostoyevsky style

There is one common theme about people running all throughout the different Dostoyevsky novels. People will always find something to be unhappy about.

It’s as if unhappiness just ends up climbing the ladder of Maslow’s hierarchy of needs. First you are unhappy you don’t have food, water, or sex. Then once you have that, you are unhappy about not having a house. Then you cry about not finding love. Then self-esteem issues make an appearance.

Finally, you start taking drugs, because you are bored. That’s how humans are. They always find something to complain about.

And this is where you can take lessons from Dostoyevsky. While there are no final answers, his writing did outline certain paths. Accept that human life is suffering. You can’t escape it. It will always be there.

“Accept suffering and achieve atonement through it — that is what you must do.” — Fyodor Dostoyevsky in “Crime and Punishment”

According to Dostoyevsky, people actually secretly yearn for suffering. It’s a counter-intuitive idea, but if you think about it, it’s true. Sometimes people prefer feeling sorry for themselves, over actually achieving their goal. Self-pity is a powerful emotion, one that reinforces your sense of victimhood.

However, that is another form of escapism. The point is not to yearn for pain, but instead to accept the reality of the world as it is. Dostoyevsky had much in common with existentialist philosophers. His ideas in fact influenced guys like Friedrich Nietzsche and Jean-Paul Sartre in their own thinking.

In Man’s Search For Meaning, Holocaust survivor Viktor Frankl recalled an idea from Dostoyevsky that helped him pull through. Be worthy of your suffering. In this, he discovered a sense of purpose.

In your life you will face many absurd situations. While you might not be able to control what happens to you, you can affect the things you think and feel. Albert Camus had his Sisyphus smile in defiance while doing a repetitive task, while Viktor Frankl found meaning in the evil he was subjected to.

It has even been argued that Fyodor Dostoyevsky saw value in suffering. However, he didn’t mean the self-pity type of suffering. Rather, it is the existential suffering that proves transformative for an individual.

In Part I Chapter 5 of The Idiot, Dostoyevsky uses his own near death experience at the hands of a firing squad to teach a lesson. Through the words of the main character, he recounts the things a man about to die was thinking.

“What should I do if I were not to die now? What if I were to return to life again? What an eternity of days, and all mine! How I should grudge and count up every minute of it, so as to waste not a single instant!”

It’s only in being faced with his life ending, did the man discover how to live. With acceptance of suffering comes another element of living life according to your own terms. Gratitude.

Now, that’s the problem with humanity. People don’t take into account the good things they have in their life, until they lose them. That’s due to the negativity bias that’s ingrained in the human brain. It’s hard to bypass, but if you don’t want to spend your entire life being unhappy, go around it you must.

“People only count their misfortunes; their good luck they take no account of. But if they were to take everything into account, as they should, they’d find that they had their fair share of it.” — Fyodor Dostoyevsky in “Notes from the Underground”

How to apply Dostoyevsky’s insights into your life

First of all, let’s get one thing out of the way. Most people won’t apply any of this. That is in keeping with Dostoyevsky’s appraisal of humanity. Humans are imperfect creatures, and they often don’t do the things they should do. That’s because people are mentally weak.

Even the man saved from being executed at the last minute ended up not applying his own advice. Faced with death, he had finally discovered what he must do to lead a good life. In The Idiot, Dostoyevsky has his main character mentally revisit this man.

What he finds out is quite in line with how humans often behave. The guy ended up wasting his life anyways.

“He said that he had not lived a bit as he had intended, and had wasted many, and many a minute.”

There is one grand truth about humanity. People don’t learn from their mistakes. Through exploring the human experience, Fyodor Dostoyevsky came up with a simple definition of a person:

“The best definition of man is: a being that goes on two legs and is ungrateful.” — Fyodor Dostoyevsky in “Notes from the Underground”

With these imperfections in mind, what can you actually do? Toughen up. Accept suffering as inevitable. Use it as a source of your strength.

“Man is not born for happiness. Man earns his happiness, and always by suffering.” — Fyodor Dostoyevsky

An earlier version of this article was originally published on “Medium” here.
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“Experience is the teacher of all things.” — Gaius Julius Caesar

It was a bright, sunny day what seems like an eternity ago. Back in high school, I was a sprinter in track & field. At the time, I was extremely hard-headed, stubborn, and weak-willed. These traits would often come back to bite me in the ass. As they did on that day.

This was the division final. My heart was pumping, and my mind was jumping all over the place. While I was determined to make it my day, my little inner daemon had other plans.

“Ready?” the coach asked.

I just nodded my head, and repeated in a low tone, “ready.”

Getting down into the starting blocks was always the most nerve-wracking part of the whole thing. It didn’t help that right before the start, I had to run around the other teams asking if I could borrow the equipment.

Finally, the moment came. Kneeling at the blocks, my head down, I was waiting for the gun to go off. It was the 200 meters final. While it’s not as crucial to nail the start for this distance as it is for the 100 meters, it still makes a difference.

The countdown started. 5…4…3…2…1… Pouw! The gun went off.

“Fuck!” I screamed to myself. I had fallen asleep at the start again! No matter. I managed to make up for my late liftoff, and cruised ahead of the pack.

The 200 meter race is all about the speed, but it’s also long enough that endurance starts playing a role. The technique has to be on point, but so does the pacing.

Not having a real sprinting coach at my school, my technique was never very good. I made that up with pure power. Somehow, just a few meters out of the blocks, I found myself in the lead.

We hit the turn, and then came up the home stretch. I was still the top dog. That’s when the endurance aspect started biting me. Breathing hard, my legs were turning into lead. Just a few meters to go, and it’s over!

At that point, it all went to shit. My mind suddenly gave up. Poof! In the lead, but hurting from the pain, I slowed down. Maybe 5 meters before the finish, I turned off. That’s when another guy just blew past me.

He had been behind me the entire race, but unlike me, mustered the inner strength to give it a final push. He collapsed right after the finish line, his body hitting the ground hard.

The guy then lay there, without moving, for what appeared like eternity. I managed to stay on my feet. Yet, he won. I got second place.

I don’t know why, but this moment still haunts me. It represents the mental weaknesses I possessed at the time. Often giving up when the going got tough, my mind was soft. Part of the problem was my lack of experience.

It had only been my second year of track. I hadn’t found myself in many big races before that point. And coming from a small school, we didn’t even have a big coaching staff like some of the other schools.

Excuses aside, the biggest problem was me. Life still hadn’t humbled me enough at that point. For me to take the time to stop and listen from time to time, I would have had to experience many moments where I screwed up. At the time, I knew best. And therefore, I failed spectacularly.

As the classic quote goes, “youth is wasted on the young.” Had I experienced a bit more, and learned a bit more, these mistakes could have been avoided. Had I known the things I know now, I would have made other choices.

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Understand backwards, live forwards

If someone gave me a penny every time I have wished to change something about my past, I would be a rich man. Yet, despite what the movie “Back to the Future” says, there is no going back. That’s just how time works.

It was none other than the great 19th century Danish existentialist philosopher Soren Kierkegaard, who left us with a profound lesson on the nature of reality.

“Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards.” — Soren Kierkegaard

The past is the past. While you can’t change what happened, Kierkegaard’s quote hints at something you can do. Revisit things mentally, and learn from them.

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Failure allows you to grow

“Experience: that most brutal of teachers. But you learn, my God do you learn.” This quote, often attributed to Irish writer C.S Lewis, but probably never said by him, reminds us of one harsh truth. Life is full of mistakes.

You can’t undo the past. It’s there. It happened. For better or worse. Your mistakes will stay your mistakes. However, those mistakes also make who you are today. For many a successful person, it is these errors that actually built them up.

For you see, mistakes are only mistakes if you see them that way. Change the way you look at them, and mistakes turn into opportunities. You win or you learn. Those should be the only two options available to you.

As a classic Stoic mantra teaches us, events in themselves are not as important as the view you take of them.

“Men are disturbed not by things, but by the view which they take of them.” — Epictetus

If you go back in time, and examine the most successful people of yesteryear, you will be struck by one thing. Their attitude towards the times they messed up.

This is reflected in the famous quote attributed to Thomas Edison, who apparently said he never failed. Not even once. Instead, he just found a thousand ways that don’t work!

While the exact wording of the quote can be disputed, it is based on real Edison wisdom. In a 1921 interview, when asked a question by the interviewer, the famous inventor recalled an incident that happened in his lab many years ago.

One of his associates had just finished up an experiment that didn’t go according to plan. Disgusted, he professed his utter frustration. It was all useless.

Edison, ever the optimist, tried consoling him. His colleague shouldn’t be so down on himself. It wasn’t a waste. They had indeed learned something from the experiment. The thing couldn’t be done that way.

Rather, there was a different path to follow.

“For we had learned for a certainty that the thing couldn’t be done that way, and that we would have to try some other way. We sometimes learn a lot from our failures if we have put into the effort the best thought and work we are capable of.” — Thomas Edison

For Edison, all these failures just added to his experience. One by one, he built upon lesson after lesson, until one day success came knocking at the door.

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Experience is brutal, but it works

A few years ago, a tough physical challenge was staring down on me. One arguably much more difficult than running fast for 200 meters. I wanted to reach the summit of Mt. Blanc, the highest mountain in the European Union.

There I was, second day into the climb, looking up at the peak. The first day had been grueling. Still, the final push towards the top was a whole different animal.

It’s not just the dangers lurking all around you. If you are not careful, you could fall into a crevasse, or slide off the cliff. However, what really makes climbing mountains special is the altitude.

The lack of oxygen and the low pressure make you work so much harder. Your lungs are burning, the breathing gets heavy, and your head feels like it’s about to explode. What is easy at sea level, becomes a constant struggle in the high mountains.

There were times when I wanted to quit. What is the point of all this pain? Never-ending pain. In previous times, I would have quit. In fact, in my younger days, I did quit at similar junctures.

This time was different. I just kept putting one leg in front of the other. I had been here before. I had faced similar challenges, and succeeded. My mindset was strong. This is what finally allowed me to conquer the summit, and come back down.

One of the key reasons why this time I was successful was experience. I had done things in my life. I had seen things. I figured out the importance of certain things, and the utter uselessness of others.

Learning all this had been brutal, but it got me to now. Often, people fall for imposter syndrome, where they believe they are frauds. It is experience that cures them of this. Little by little, they learn and gain their confidence. This is what experience brings: confidence.

It isn’t by chance that people in high risk jobs spend a lot of their time practicing. By doing the same little things over and over, they gain mastery. This not only allows them to do what needs to be done when the situation calls for it. It also gives them a trust in themselves. They will be able to solve the problem even when they are a bit outside their comfort zone.

Experience gives you confidence. No problem. I have been here. I can do this.

Experience is the ultimate of teachers. If you approach it right, you can really learn a lot. In order to do that though, your mindset needs a reset. You have to come to terms with your past. Accept your failures. Live in peace with them.

They are your experience, and might even be the reason for your success down the line. Keep that in mind. Social ethics professor Felix Adler probably said it best when he linked progress with experience. You need to go down many wrong paths before you find the right one.

“The condition of all progress is experience. We go wrong a thousand times before we find the right path.” — Felix Adler

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An earlier version of this article was originally published on “Medium” here.
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